March 2011
8 posts
BURN THIS IN YOUR BRAIN
Life is fleeting
You have a gun to your head
Mindless entertainment & junk foods are not functional
Give a shit
suicidal
you’re way too beautiful girl, that’s why it’ll never work- you’ll have me suicidal (suicidal) when you say it’s over
All it took was one look. One look will set me straight, all right.
It wasn’t even a second. I’m not even sure it was on purpose. I don’t know how I never noticed,
but this girl is fucking beautiful.
When all of a sudden she...
dream log 001
i’m losing it so i’ll try to write as much as i can
i’m in the suburban with my mom in the front seat. she’s driving me to sharon’s house, but i don’t know why. i remember calling sharon earlier and asking her if i can come over.
when we stop, we’re actually in front of some kind of asian plaza. i ask my mom for the $5, and she asks me, “how about...
i don't think i've ever felt genuinely happy over...
until now.
can’t forget your biggest heartache no doubt she was your biggest pain
she had a pretty little face hair flowing down the cutest eyes you’ve ever seen she was the best to be around with and you swore that since you were given this second chance that you’d never let yourself live without her, not like how it was in the past but her smile her smiles hide them knives that you could...
so my life is pretty much fucked lol
i’m not going to get into the college i want to be in
i forgot to apply for fafsa by march 2nd, still gonna do it tomorrow, though
i did not attend to any of the mt. sac application workshop (gonna do it online, tomorrow, again)
jobs for gamestop don’t open until april
i still don’t have my license
i’m pretty sure my grades are bad.
sometimes i wanna just suicide.
...
sucks.
better.
- - - - moral - - - -
moar porn pl0x <3
owait, can’t masturbate Q-Q
butterfly necklace
real silver, looks a bit cheap but i remember that it cost about a $100. times were better back then during middle school, haha, it seems I liked her that much.
It was a Christmas gift, I remember that. I told my mom that I just had to get her something nice; and just like with everyone, it was hard to think of a really good gift. My mom forced me to a swift decision, and I had to go with the...
February 2011
5 posts
wake up
are you dreaming?
no?
push the blankets off
walk lazily to your bathroom
routine
everything’s still faded
you switch on the lights
a sting pierces the veil of your eye lids,
however unwelcome
outlines stretch and repeat
circles, in circles, you look about
the light glares but then it softens
your attention switches to the white walls
those drab white walls
you stare only to...
reality
i have nothing to lose
goals for tomorrow
ask out that girl in chem
talk more in chem class
set up appointment wit DMV
ask if there are any job openings at gamestop
actually try on the “lab” in sports/health
participate in econ no matter how much urbietch hates me
honestly, there is no point in sulking around. if i fail at any of these goals, i’ll just end up here: square...
day's over
well. i oughta really stop writing things in such a negative light, so let’s see…
18th birthday, pretty nice. avoided getting sung to in nearly all my classes (i just had to pull the birthday card out during psychology qq) and got to do whatever i wanted really. my mom decided to make a shit load of food -_- i’ll probably never go hungry again.. but uh. i guess that’s it....
birthday resolutions
do not masturbate or watch/read any pornographic material [masturbation is addictive. i want to see if i’m stronger than an addiction.]
exercise at least once a week [keywords: at least; i will probably want to do more, but just in case i don’t feel like it, i’ll at least feel obliged to do it once a week.]
get a license & a job [essential.]
go to church on any available...
i don't feel different
i have a million worries
i don’t act on what i truly want
i’m hesitant and hopeful
still just way too lazy
not exactly ambitious
and i haven’t at all matured
I’m 18 now, but I don’t feel like I’m 18. I feel confused, anxious, and just overall insecure. I’m always hopeful, though, I suppose. Just like with any sort of momentous event, I’m going...
October 2010
2 posts
In reality
I want to spend a whole day telling her how beautiful she looks.
I’m a hapless victim to corny romance movies and tv shows.
In reality, I can never stop thinking ideally.
I Don't Love Her
Xanga is being a buggy bitch at the moment. -_-
So why should I go for her solely? Why should I devote my entire effort onto just her? I don’t love her, and you know what, it’s obvious that my efforts aren’t getting me anywhere anyway. I’m just another victim of popular trash media, thinking I have to stick to one girl and try anything and everything to get her.
But...
September 2010
2 posts
9/7/10 - Goodbye
I’ll be honest, I cried. Shows you how much of an addict I was.
Goodbye, Nintendo Wii, whom I’ve failed to hack. Goodbye, The Sims (3). Goodbye, Empire: Total War. Goodbye, Xbox 360. Goodbye, Tekken 6. Goodbye, BlazBlue. Goodbye, young Starcraft II. Goodbye, Street Fighter. Goodbye, League of Legends. Goodbye, Sony PS3.
Fare thee well, my unproductive lifestyle. I will see you once...
I’m Waiting For My Real Life To Begin, Waiting On The World To Change, Hoping Ambition will strike me like lightning,
“Stand on your own two feet”
“Easier said than done”
“Still, nothing will happen if you don’t make it”
Typical argument with myself, I never do it in the end I have to break the fucking cycle, I can’t live in this...
August 2010
3 posts
Shaggy feat. Rik Rok - It Wasn’t Me
“I will burn in hell, to keep you safe.”
– Michael Corleone to his daughter, The Godfather Part III (1990)
Sex
I will probably never forget that day I almost gave it up.
I can’t believe that I almost did that, and so readily too. I’m scum, the worst kind there is. I almost cheated myself out of a once-in-a-lifetime experience, I almost ruined her relationship, my relationships, my future could have been messed up just because of that one regret. That was wrong, totally wrong, it was...
July 2010
9 posts
i can never shake the feeling that i’m not worthy of you how can i give any love if i can’t even love myself? no, no one’s perfect i understand that but when you damn sure seem it how am i supposed to measure up? taking chances? who can take a chance when every action taken will always remain? untouchable, unforgettable? no matter what we say, there will always be that thought in...
Hey there, pretty girl.. You don’t look like...
omfgomfgomfgomfg
i HATE bugs but this one this fucker was GIGANTIC so i didn’t kill it instead i trapped it with a red plastic cup against the floor opened the door to outside and pondered/panicked on how i could get it out then decided to sorta move the cup upwards and towards the door in a fast motion to kinda flick the bug out and. it worked! i think. i needa sleep. fucking bugs.
9 tags
Young girls envy the life y’all...
+1 Love The Way You Lie
good shit
standstill
lol i didn’t even go -_-
June 2010
2 posts
ramble
If ignorance is bliss, why would anyone want to be knowledgeable? After you find the truth, what is there left to do? Devote your life into finding answers, but isn’t there an end to all of it? Considering you can even reach the end! What is it then? Honor? Pride? Vanity? Power? Why do we struggle so hard and reason with ourselves that it was all worth it? What do we suffer...
May 2010
2 posts
I guess I can’t hate family that long. Still, his attitude annoys me, I hope he improves, truly I do. But if anything, it’ll take a long fucking time. Still, it’s not bad to hope, and even if he doesn’t change, I can never stop being his brother.
Internet’s slow as fuck today. Time Warner Cable fucked up yesterday, the internet was down that whole entire day. ...
rant
What’s odd is that my younger brother (13) will be venting on this same website on what a jackass I was to him.
For a long time I was interested in what he wrote about every time I caught him typing.
Now I don’t care to know at all, simply because now, I doubt he has the mental capacity to illustrate any form of writing worth reading.
Maybe one day he’ll grow up to be someone of some value, but...
April 2010
1 post
Self-Destruct. Again.
You know what I hate? I hate getting so worked up over someone that I end up getting possessive over her when I don’t even have her. Then I get stuck in this limbo, do I be straight-forward with her and risk our fairly interesting friendship, or do I just be silent and let my chances slip? If I have any chance at all. I wish I wasn’t a romantic. I wish I wasn’t a hopeful. ...
March 2010
2 posts
things just don’t go the way you think it would.
self-esteem is a big problem. it’s a big balloon filled with air. some people have a needle, to pop the problem and just be through with it, but otherwise, people like me have to walk all the way around the mother fucker. as i walk, i realize whilst looking back that the things i could have done in the past weren’t so hard to...
Facts about Life
Some very simple facts that I often forget. I oughta make a reminder to myself right now.
1. THE WORD “NORMAL” IS SUBJECTIVE.
2. conform, v. - to be similar, identical
3. WE ALL DIE SOMEDAY.
4. YOU CANNOT HAVE FULL FREEDOM WITH SECURITY
5. comfort, n. - a state of ease and satisfaction of bodily wants, with freedom from pain and anxiety
6. EXPERIENCE IS ONLY GAINED THROUGH...
February 2010
11 posts
It's a nice feeling.
Donate to Haiti.
1 tag
How Do You Generate Will?
It’s funny how things don’t go the way you expect it. You think you’re in control but as time passes you realize that you are quite the opposite. You start to realize you’re actually a lot more dependent than you would like for yourself to believe. I sure know how to pick ‘em, right?
Things never go the way you expect it. Sometimes the people you don’t want...
1 tag
Where, o where has my little time gone? Where, o...
Years pass by fast. People are changing by the month, day, hour. The point of no return is edging close, and I waste my time by paying no mind to it. When do situations become so dire that you’re forced to become more precautous? If situations are already dire, then why have I not been affected yet? Day by day, I wonder, if I keep going on like this not giving a fuck, will the...
Don't Trust Anyone
No matter how you put it, people will always have their doubts about their friendships. People will always have nasty things to say about their friends behind their backs. And that’s what I hate the most. Why give someone the gun to point to your head? It’s a sign of trust, some people say. I think it’s pretty stupid. In the case of survivability, I’d rather have my...
This is important, especially more important than...
Maybe I should just treat life as a game...
You know, I just got myself thinking… I used to walk a lot during my freshman year, and the reason why was because my mom loved getting piss drunk. It’s how I blew off steam, talking to myself like a madman while walking down streets. But now I realize, I only wanted to feel like I wanted to be home.
I think why I’m so caught up about depersonalization, the wanting for the...
TODAY IN VERY IMPORTANT KETCHUP NEWS: The... →
inothernews:
Key snippets from this AP story, via the Miami Herald:
“The new design has a base that’s more like a cup for dipping and also a tear-off end for squeezing, plus it holds three times as much ketchup than a traditional packet.”
“Heinz sells more than 11 million cases of its ketchup packets in the U.S. every year and it will continue to sell the traditional packet. The new packet is...
2 tags
Self-Actualization
You know, where I come from, or at least from whom I’ve hung out with, this was a pretty big thing. Finding out who you are and making your existence known. I once believed that once I had realized who I am, that I would be able to be more confident in myself and carry out what I think a lot more easily.
That’s just bullshit.
The thing is, I was just victimizing myself. My friends...
Second Place
I hate being put behind someone else. I think what I want most out of a relationship is the attention. I hate indifference, especially when it’s towards me. Reminds me of somebody else I know. -_-; God, I’m just as insane as her. Conceit. Lily told me that thinking about relationships were mundane. My thoughts are mundane? Probably. They are all out of conceit. But then...
J.D. Salinger, 91, Is Dead - ArtsBeat Blog -... →
peterwknox:
The statement added: “Salinger had remarked that he was in this world but not of it. His body is gone but the family hopes that he is still with those he loves, whether they are religious or historical figures, personal friends or fictional characters.”
Here’s what I had to say: Rubbing out the last “Fuck You” in the world…
Fuck.
January 2010
4 posts
8 tags
Insanity -> Sanity
Things don’t always go down the way you plan it. They also don’t always crash and burn. It’s funny how there’s always going to be a black and white result, though. I guess it just matters how well you cope with it.
What the fuck is a relationship? Mutual feelings elevated? What the fuck matters as long as we care about each other? Physical relations, is that what a...
tuneage:
The Silver Seas - “What’s The...
5 tags
So Psyched!
‘nuff said.